PsychoDrama ~ Cutting myself

Dear FoOl'S:

TODAY I've discovered 3 things!

a) life is a bitch

b) A slave to twisted memories

c) We've got no one to be... but we still "are."

starting at 3:00 pm a party for riot people social fuck riot people, at 5:00 pm time to kill the funky doll, next 8:00 pm the sleazoid game begins with riot people trying to be happy and making themselves look like idiots a manic who likes to hurt themselves, a stupid highbrow joker -- a brief talk with somebody nobody at the phone, the party dissolves at 11:00 pm and...
nothing happens

As the night went monochrome

a:hi how havexxxx?
b:fine with some newxxx
a: ah is it xxxx
b: more or xxxx
a I want to xxxx
b: what xxxxx?

ah riot riot star why do I keep seeking you knowing that I can't be close to you ?

I'm making such a fool of myself trying to think you could understand... is it too late now?

Why? I don't even know you, but it pains me so.

You don't hear me, and I'll never touch you, even if the 2 of us were alike maybe we weren't one for the other or maybe life is a bitch hahaha

how many hours has it been? you're everything I could want. but I was too late in realizing you were the one...

If... things would be different

a:It's about what can never xxxxx?
b: yes so xxx it?
a:I want to xxxxx...

yes I want to know the truth even if it hurts! I want to know it even if I have to get rid of my mind, so tell me tell me!

And... such a pity I should have never know...

a)Nothing
b)Nobody
c)Something

it made tears fall with those words...

C) despair

I understand, but I can't stop this. the day you notice me never comes. I understand, I give up.
Can the irreversible be changed?
Nothing would make me happier...
but it's better to be nothing than nobody right?

cause it's all in my mind...